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24 May 2013 @ 10:49 pm
under the pretense that there is nothing wrong  
Trust me when I say that there is nothing more than I want than to be happy.

Yet sometimes it feels like something, someone out there is against the notion of letting me achieve happiness. I hold you when you're down and patch you up, dry your tears, tell you everything is fine -- and I've done this to many people, not just one -- but everyone, everyone tells me the same things when I'm the one on my knees and crying:
"Why are you crying over that?" "Stop crying."

I hate it.

Sometimes I feel like everyone out there are just parasites who depend on me for their own benefit and leave me once they're done, once I'm useless, insignificant to their now sated stomach. I don't want to sound like a whiny, pathetic teenager who clamours for attention from the rest and demand that they notice that hey, I'm suffering, stop whatever you're doing and help me and buy me a whole year's worth of tissues to show me you care. I just want people to stop thinking I'm their human substitute for a pillow or the plush toy that you only reach out for when you're sad, and once you fill me with your snot and tears and mucus and sadness you throw me aside into the dusty corner again.

When I reach out, where is that hand that should be clasped around mine?

And so it all comes to one conclusion that despite how I appreciate the company of those whom I love, I am still, in the end, completely alone.
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
tsubasa_quilltsubasa_quill on October 11th, 2013 04:39 pm (UTC)
Hey there sweety,

You're not being a whiny teenager, there is something wrong with society nowadays. People don't have patience no more, they search for convenience and don't bother making effort to appreciate empathy.

I know...I've experienced something similar and it's frustrating, tiring and downright inhumane. everybody needs a comfort pillow, sometimes having people just sit next to you, hold your hand and listen as you cry away works wonders and I don't understand why people don't recognize and appreciate someone who does and return the favour. You know what? I think everybody believes that they go through more in life than everybody else so if somebody has an issue, they act like its nothing compared to what they have experienced. Or at least some people around me gave me the impression.

No matter how good a person, nobody can just give and give and give...

You'll be appreciated for what you do...my last remaining dregs of faith in humanity says you will be...

So, cheer up.

*gives u choco*
Syahirah Nadirahsugarwhales on October 14th, 2013 01:07 pm (UTC)
hey tsu /hugs/ <3 Thanks for your comforting words. Time and time again I tell myself that this isn't true and I love all those who take time out of their day to ask how I am, but time and time once more no one really takes the same amount of time to comfort me as I do for them.

It hurts, but I am incapable of stopping myself from caring too much. Caring for others is a good thing, and if no one else will do it, I will. Even if it means just getting my already parched soul dehydrated from the people who just take and never come back.

You're not one of those people. I'm glad. Thanks for the chocolate <3